Dursleys' Demented
by Eve-the-Charlotte
Summary: Vernon and Petunia Dursley's worst nightmare is realized:  Their freak of a nephew mated!  A look into a possible future for the Dursleys and a certain relative of theirs.  Vernon/Petunia, Ron/Harry, and minor Fred/Hermione.


_Dursleys' Demented _by _Eve-the-Charlotte_

Summary: In which the Dursleys encounter their worst nightmare: their blasted nephew mated! AU from the fifth book onward (though it may not be evident in this writing) and the Epilogue o' Restrictions and contains slash in the form of Ron/Harry and, well, mpreg.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything affiliated.

Pairings: Vernon/Petunia, Ron/Harry, and Fred/Hermione.

Also, for those curious, _Be a Man _and _Winter_ _Joy_ are set in this same universe, whose name I really need to think up. Also, I originally wrote this when I had bronchitis, right before Thanksgiving, which turned into the flu. Since then, I haven't looked much at this piece until now. Hopefully it is halfway decent and viewers out there enjoy the story, since I rather liked writing it.

^DursleysDemented^

Vernon and Petunia Dursley of #4 Privet Drive were enjoying their shopping trip in London. You see, it had been quite some time since the Dursleys had participated in such activities, with most, if not all, of the fault lay with their freakish nephew. That _boy_ caused a horrific amount of trouble and wasn't even worth the _bloody_ effort the Dursleys had grudgingly undertaken in raising the _freak_. Then, just after the boy's seventeenth birthday, the Dursleys were _evacuated_ from their _home_ so that some sodding _freaks_ that were after their blasted _nephew_ wouldn't come and _murder_ them and their _son_! The entire episode had cost them thousands of pounds and quite a bit of peaceful rest, in addition to the sheer amount of _stress_ the couple went through worrying about whether they and their son would be murdered in their _sleep_. Mr. Dursley's mustache was now speckled with gray from the trauma, Mrs. Dursley now had crow's feet to contend with, and Dudley had lost a worrying amount of weight (according to his mother, anyway).

The Dursleys were allowed to return on 6 July 1998, nearly a _year_ after the _incident_ that drove them from their residence. After that, things settled down with the exception of two other incidents. The first was that Vernon Dursley was _demoted _quite a few levels after not being able to give a _reasonable_ explanation for his absence from the company for nearly a year. The second was that Dudley Dursley was _arrested_ for vandalism and attempted larceny (Dudley being eighteen at the time), leading to his subsequent arrest and trial, which led to the magistrate sentencing twenty years in _prison_, after looking over Dudley's juvenile record. Petunia Dursley pleaded with the jurors, and Vernon Dursley pulled all the strings he could, yet Dudley's sentence was only reduced to ten years in a minimum-security prison. The scandal nearly drove the Dursleys to ruin, yet, like the legendary phoenix (not that the Dursleys would make that allusion), they survived, though Petunia was no longer invited to tea with the neighbors as often as she would have liked, and Vernon missed a few promotions as he attempted to climb up the company ladder back to his original position.

However, the Dursleys would see something far more unpleasant on their trip to London to buy Dudley a present for his birthday (consisting of Diddy-kins's favorite "sweeties" and nice, warm clothes in case of drafts in that horrid prison). As Mrs. Dursley was looking through at baby's and toddler's clothes (she was caught in one of her more sentimental moods and was wishing that Dudley may one day give her a grandchild), her sharp eyes caught a group of people congregating around the infant girls' clothing, apparently trying to pick something out. Normally, Mrs. Dursley, despite her nosy tendencies, would have turned her attention back to her musings, except for a few things that would not relinquish her attention. The first was that, while there were three men in the crew, only one woman was present, a bushy-haired brunette (with those curves Petunia had always envied when she was young) holding a girl no more than a year old with fiery red curls. One of the men, a tallish man with the same shade of red hair and a boyish grin, held what had to be the little girl's twin sister in his arms. The other two men were each holding the hand of a tall, ginger girl (who had to be at least six or seven). The man with equally ginger hair, who must have been the older child's father, was exceedingly tall, well over six feet, with large hands and feet and a long nose. The other man holding the bigger girl's hand was rather short, barely clearing five and a half feet, with familiar untidy black hair and glasses. The man, who looked so familiar (she knew she had seen him somewhere before), had his other hand slipped into the tallest man's back pocket, resting there seemingly innocent. Petunia's eyes widened in horror, for they were so obviously poufs! And there were children present! Well, Petunia knew indecency when she saw it and felt it her moral duty to stop this scene _now_.

At least, Petunia would have, had not the little curly-haired girl in her mother's arms pulled out a long stick that looked to be made of wood and started tapping a set of toddler's pajamas hanging a nearby rack. Mrs. Dursley stared in horror as the pajama set turned blue to green to violet to red to pink, before the mother noticed the matter and shouted, "Erica, give back Mummy's wand!" The woman's husband (at least, Petunia had _assumed_ that was her husband; she couldn't see a ring from her view) just chuckled before hobbling (Mrs. Dursley was shocked to see the young man moved with a cane and a horribly noticeable limp) after the-the _freak_ and pulling his wife's _w-w-wand_ away from her. Mrs. Dursley couldn't help the strangled sound escaping her throat, before the men and the woman turned her way. Petunia's blood ran cold when the black-haired man revealed bright, emerald eyes hidden beneath sooty eyelashes and thick, round lenses of his spectacles. Her _nephew_, that _freak_, was here! The man's eyes widened in recognition as Petunia let out a panicked, "Vernon!"

Mr. Dursley, who had been waiting patiently for his wife to quit her reminiscing and carry on with the dreaded shopping (he knew she wanted a grandchild and while he wouldn't mind one either, they really did need to get going), snapped immediately to attention when he heard his wife's shriek of terror and came barreling to the rescue. Mr. Dursley, who was not altogether a reasonable man normally, despite his protests to the contrary, became even less sensible when he though his beloved wife to be in danger (he did love her, freakish relatives of hers be damned). So, when he caught sight of his Petunia's fear-filled face and that _boy_ that he had thought he had been rid of years ago, he immediately wheeled on the boy and growled, "You!"

However, since Vernon Dursley had only eyes for his wife and her perceived tormentor, he had overlooked the other three _freaks_ with the boy, who recognized Vernon quite quickly and looked rather pissed to see him, too. Vernon also missed the three children who sensed something wrong with the situation, as the twin girls had stopped giggling and mimicked their parents in their angry stares, and the older girl was staring blankly at the large, beefy man as though he were a particularly interesting science experiment, which Mr. Dursley found _very_ unnerving. The boy, as short and scrawny a man as he was a child, held his ground and answered calmly, "Yes, me." Mr. Dursley stared at the man his blasted nephew had become. The boy's hair was as untidy and jet black as ever, his omnipresent spectacles still round and covering almond-shaped, green eyes. The boy still had a thin face, with an average nose, thickish eyebrows, abnormally pouty lips for a male, and that hideous scar marring his forehead. He was shorter than Petunia, which gave Vernon an odd sense of pride (though Petunia was five feet eight inches, rather tall for a woman), and not particularly broad-shouldered.

Before Mr. Dursley could speak another word, an arm went around the boy's shoulder, belonging to one of the tallest men Mr. Dursley had ever seen. He was ginger, with a large amount of freckles across his face, with a long nose, rounded blue eyes (that promised pain should Vernon utter another sound), thin lips and eyebrows, and a strong chin. The giant was also had a few muscles, which Vernon would only privately admit were quite intimidating. "Hello, Uncle Vernon," the _freak_ uttered politely, "Aunt Petunia, how do you do?" The formality peeved Mr. Dursley quite a bit, but the continued presence of the very tall man, who Vernon believed to have seen somewhere before, as well as the angry looks he was receiving from the cripple and his apparent wife (Vernon didn't think the lame man was queer, too), both of whom seemed somehow more, more _powerful_ than him, caused Vernon Dursley to keep his mouth shut. Petunia, God bless her, was braver than he, as she held her ground and glared fiercely at the motley crew before her. "Well," she sneered, throwing the _boy_ and the other pouf her most condescending look, "I wasn't aware you could sink lower, _boy_. Turned _queer_ and had one of those unnatural children-"

Petunia Dursley was interrupted, because as soon as the words passed her lips, the giant queer had a, a _wand_ pointed at her throat. The man leaned down to whisper into her ear, "Don't you _ever_ dare _presume_ you are somehow better than Harry, Petunia Evans _Dursley_," with the last word spat out like a curse. The ginger might have gone on but for the _boy_'s order of "That's enough, Ron. Don't set a bad example for Solace." Tugging at the giant's arm, the Dursleys' nephew coaxed the taller man into a sort of calming embrace. The bigger girl, who had been silently watching with that odd gleam in her almond-shaped emerald eyes (who so resembled Lily at that moment that Petunia stayed speechless), wrapped her body around her father's (or maybe Petunia thought contemptuously, perhaps her _mother's_) legs, mumbling, "Don't be mad, Daddy." Petunia couldn't help but blink in surprise, as the tall girl, despite her looks, could obviously not be more than five years old. "Besides," the _freak_ said in a clear, even tone, already turning toward the exit of the store, not even sparing a backward glance, "they're not worth it." And even once the group had left, Petunia Evans Dursley could still not find the words she meant to speak. Vernon Dursley, faithful husband of twenty-eight years, put a steadying arm around her thin, birdlike shoulders as they quietly exited the shop without a word or a purchase. Vernon was attempting to blot the entire incident out of his mind on the walk to the Dursleys' new car, while Petunia was lost in thoughts of red hair and emerald eyes and a spirit perhaps reborn, swirling around in the older woman's head like the fall breeze that was making her hair flit about like birds in the spring long past.

"Are you all right, Harry," were the words that tumbled out of Hermione Weasley née Granger's mouth once the foursome plus children were out of the shop. Harry nodded yes and was thankful when his dear friend did not press the subject and turned to Fred and struck up a soft-spoken conversation as the couple and their children went on ahead. Ron's arm was still wrapped around his shoulders, which Harry allowed, because after a little while, as Harry knew would happen, Ron's arm slipped down, and his husband's hand merely intertwined with his, calm once again. Solace observed the change with watchful eyes before the stiffness that had entered her gait back in the department store dissipated. His little girl looked at him with expectant eyes and Harry instantly and easily relented to her silent request, stooping down a bit (the distance caused by height seemed to be shortening by the day) to pick her up, careful of his protruding belly, hidden under his enchanted jumper, carrying his sweet James. Harry leaned his head onto Ron's shoulder and was rewarded with a soft kiss upon his brow, causing the bespectacled man to smile. Harry plus James and Ron and Solace Potter-Weasley then continued to trek up the alley, to catch up with their loved ones on the cool autumn day. The Dursleys' had left the mind of Harry James Potter completely. All was well.

^DursleysDemented^

Fin.


End file.
